Journal Entries
May 8, 2007
The Ark.
This Saturday is the final of the Eurovision Song Contest. I’m told that for years, this was a massive inter-country American Idol-esk crapfestsup>[1]. That each year each country would offer up the blandest of the bland in hopes of being honored as “the best of what’s offered.”
2005’s winner is fairly typical of what’s offered every year. Add or subtract some dance rhythms and strings and you’ll have every entry since ABBA[2].
But last year something odd happened. Finland had not won in something like 40 years. Parallel with my own thoughts, they figured if they can’t win then at least be memorable. In the true spirit of anarchy, they offered up a bunch of hard rock monsters straight out of a Rob Zombie flick. Perfect, right? Well, it backfired. The bastards won it all.
Lordi deserved it. In full costume, following some act of pop-club nothingness, they rocked and screamed (completely off-key) in full 80’s metal voice to an audience that’s typically much too old for irony to penetrate. (note the Finnish top hat of Mr. Lordi )
Thanks to Lordi the conventional Eurovision wisdom has been disregarded. All styles are considered possible. In this year alone, the Czech Republic has a semi-death metal band. Both Ukraine and Denmark entered Drag acts. There’s even a dance/opera act. Belgium reverted to the 70’s to do a spot on impression of the golden age of disco.
Even France entered something other than a long-winded love song. (Their specialty, I’m told) Oh, the dancing.
Finland, as a follow up to Lordi, has a clone of Evanescence whose song is better than anything Evanescence ever wrote. Some commentators in Scandinavia say it’s too depressing. Some people don’t understand the difference between “depressing” and “angst”.
In the most surprising entry, Germany has submitted a swing song. Seriously. It’s straight up West Coast style swing. It sounds totally wrong to hear German lyrics, but it works. The singer’s voice is perfect.
My personal favorite entry is Israel’s “Push the Button”. This song was almost banned after it won because it was thought to be too controversial and confrontational. I think it’s a great reflection of life in the most conflicted region in the world. It would have to be controversial and confrontational. Plus, it’s in English, Hebrew and French.
However, when all the votes are counted, I am all about the absurdity that is The Ark.
[1]“crapfest” is my word. My sources used words like “pop”, “euro-pop” and “summer pains”. I think that you will agree “crapfest” is an adequate characterization.
[2] I have it on good authority that Swedes would appreciate it if you would stop mentioning ABBA within three sentences of learning their nationality. Yes, they are great song writers, but good god people, the Swedes discovered America, founded most of the major cities in western Russia and are responsible for the most famous prize widely regarded as the supreme commendation in Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Peace, Physiology or Medicine and Economics. Mama Mia is a bit of a footnote comparatively. Just sayin’.
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